About ‘Energy Vampires’ - Discover Why Downbeat Pals Might Help for You

Myself crave insights from people regarding managing life’s midpoint hurdles, such as deep inner questions, diminishing importance, growing a neck resembling a melted timepiece and a newfound passion for A Place in the Sun. Recently, I came across his remarks regarding his fiftieth birthday via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”

My first thought was: isn’t there a tension regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.

Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?

If so, you’re one of us, but it’s OK. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.